Return to Egypt and the Sphynx Who Loved Me...

I realize that most people who follow this blog think that international business travel is all glamorous and that I’m living the life of a rock star. Some of this, perhaps, is true. This job does indeed have its wonderful moments when I can be a pampered tourist on the company’s dime. However, the vast majority of this travel consists of me wedged into an unknown airline’s economy seat (which will barely accommodate their own 4’ tall Lilliputian citizens…much less my 6’4” frame). Then, when we get to the airport, we must continue the compression at an even greater rate. So, imagine fitting FIVE full-size Americans (plus a local driver, PLUS all of our luggage) into a taxi meant to seat four local people. Yeah, that’s glamorous all right!

The next morning, we had to visit our customer in Cairo. To get there, our distributor hired a huge van to carry us around. We loaded up the van and let the excitement begin! I did my best to film the journey from our hotel to the customer site (a trip that took 40 minutes each way). We were able to see a lot of the regular Cairo life through the windows of our air-conditioned van. I captured a bit of it on film.

As you watch the video, be sure to notice the prison van that we pass. This dark-blue van is the Egyptian answer to the “Paddy Wagon” from America 100 years ago. They actually lock people up in this wagon to transport them from place to place. It’s somewhat like a dog catcher’s van…complete with little windows for the prisoners to see the outside world and catch a breath of “fresh[er]” air. I see these wagons every day that we are here. It makes me think that Egypt is being discriminatory against its Irish immigrants!

When we arrived at the customer site, I was offered “coffee” to drink, which I readily accepted. While I appreciate my hosts’ generosity, the “coffee” I was given is of the Turkish kind. This means that it consists of mostly coffee grounds. It is so thick, that you can literally stand a spoon on end by sticking it into the black muck. I did my best to drink it so as not to offend anyone.
As soon as I was done, my boss (Phil) walks over with what appeared to be a fruit smoothie! He had the decency to offer me a bit to knock the coffee grounds from the back of my throat. I’d like to know where I was when these drinks were being offered (probably working…)

During our entire time at the customer site, we had to deal with their elevators. Not that there’s anything wrong with their elevators; they do indeed lift us from floor to floor. The only “problem” is that the elevators don’t have doors. The best way to understand my meaning is to watch the video…the video of the Elevators Of Death…

Once we’re at work, I felt quite comfortable filming with my camera. So, you are going to see us doing what we do to earn a paycheck. We’re operating our equipment, talking about throughput and data integrity. Pretty boring stuff overall, but this is what pays the bills. This is why we are here.

If you have been following my blog, you should know by now that Tony Novoa is a business partner of mine. But I want you to understand that over the last three years, he’s become much more than that to me. He is very much like an older and wiser brother to me; I have learned SO MUCH from him and I have every respect and admiration for his abilities.

Having said that, I have also found Tony to be a master of slapstick comedy. While we were at the customer site, we had a bit of “down time” and Tony asked to hold my video camera. I handed it to him and showed him the basics of its operations. As he was playing with it, he accidently knocked an un-opened can of Coca-Cola off the table and hit the ground and rolled around quite a bit. Tony picked it up, set it on the table, and started to move as if he would open the can. I exclaimed, “You’re not going to open that, are you?!?!” To which Tony replied “No, of course not…” and then he opened the can! I wish I had my video camera rolling at that exact instant, because when he pulled the tab, the entire content of the can exploded and deposited itself on Tony’s business suit. I nearly wet myself from laughing so hard…as did Diego!

As you will see on the video, Tony explains that when I asked “You’re not going to open that?”, he thought I was referring to my video camera which he had been playing with…which is certainly a reasonable assumption. In reality, I meant was he going to open the now explosive can of Coca-Cola. What fun! I still laugh about this…

Later that evening, after Tony changed into dry clothes, we went on a Nile dinner cruise. The food was very good and the entertainment was enjoyable. However, I’ve done this river cruise before, so I knew what to expect.

Well, that’s all for now. Suffice to say all is well, I’m happy, the company is doing well, and I’ve captured what I hope is some interesting video for my friends…

Love you all!

Last Day in Cape Town - Let's Go Mountain Climbing!

OK, as usual, the blog is a little out of date. I am now in Muscat, Oman...which wasn't even on the original itinerary. It has been a very, very busy several weeks. Good news is that I finally have an Internet connection that is fast enough to allow me to post some videos. Who would have thought that I'd have to go to Oman for that to happen?

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Our last day in Cape Town was spent climbing mountains. We didn’t plan this particularly well, because the clothes that we wore to explore those mountains would be the same ones that we would wear for the next 20+ hours as we flew from South Africa to Egypt. Yep – smelly, sweaty, locker-room-like clothes that would torment our fellow plane-mates for nearly a full day. Not that their bearded, robe-wearing, smelly-sandaled bodies were any better…but you know, at least we wore deodorant.

And when I say “climb[ing] that mountain,” I actually mean “we rode a cable car up the mountain.” I mean, come on, everybody who reads this blog knows me…so who am I kidding? We didn’t “climb” anything. Although, once dropped off at the top of Table Mountain, we did go up and down the various cracks and crevices that a million years of rain have made. Even THAT was enough to make me winded! As you’ll hear in the video, I’m having trouble breathing. Hard to believe that I stopped smoking 2 years ago…but there you have it! I was near 20,000 feet or something while filming…so give me a break! I was camera man, director, producer, and actor…there was a lot of pressure up there! Plus, there’s very little oxygen at those altitudes! In fact, I’m pretty sure they make astronauts train on this mountain before they send them to space.

The cable car itself is quite an experience. It’s shaped somewhat like a flying saucer from a 50’s sci-fi movie (which lends credence to my theory about astronaut training). The cool thing is that it spins on its way up (and down). This is to make sure that everybody gets a good view of the awesome scenery. Otherwise, big people would probably squish the smaller folks against the windows in their efforts to see the rock face and / or sea-side views

Upon arriving at the top, the entire ticket-buying cable-car masses are left on their own. Everybody is free to explore 3,500 ft. sheer cliffs as he or she sees fit. As for me, I decided to explore the “off the beaten path” track and wound up seeing sides of the mountain that no man was meant to see. I filmed what I could of this adventure…but it simply wasn’t possible to hold a camera to capture the best footage while swinging from ledge to ledge and grasping jagged rocks with my fingertips while supporting both my weight and the weight of my boss’ boss (Scott). But I think the footage that I did manage to take speaks largely for itself…

Cape of Good Hope

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Unlike yesterday, when we were completely free to decide what to do, today was an organized “fun day.” At this point, our distributors haven’t arrived so it’s only my follow Scranton employees and me enjoying the activities. The organizers had originally requested a van for the eight of us, but apparently the van was in use…so the tour company sent a bus that seats 44 people. We had plenty of room to stretch out; I wish my flight over the Atlantic had been this spacious!

The first thing we did was visit Sandy Bay…the only “official” nude beach in all of South Africa! Unfortunately, a couple of things conspired to keep us from enjoying the full experience. First, it’s nearly winter in the Southern Hemisphere so the nudists are mostly clothed now. Second, we were up very high on the cliff and the telephoto lens on my camera isn’t very good.

After our attempted voyeurism, we took a boat to visit some seals on a rock in the ocean. I’m not exactly sure why this is such a tourist attraction; it’s just a bunch of rocks in the ocean with some seals laying about sunning themselves. There were some baby seals, and I could understand the attraction had we been allowed to “go Eskimo” on them with baseball bats…but all we were allowed to do was take pictures.

I think my favorite part of the seal outreach program was the boat ride. I was truly amazed by how close the captain was willing to get to the rocks. We were just a few feet away from being dashed to death against the rocks. Any survivors, I imagine, would have been devoured by the seals. What fun!

Luis Wasserman also provided a bit of entertainment when he needed a pair of sunglasses and attempted pricing negotiations with a local vendor. He ended up calling the vendor “crazy” and a bunch of other things. As a result, relations between South Africa and Colombia are now at an all-time low. We keep telling Luis to mind his manners when he travels internationally, but our advice falls on deaf ears.

It was then time to check out the penguins. I’d seen penguins before…but only in captivity. These were free-range penguins living a life of swimming, catching fish, sunning themselves, and avoiding the Great White sharks that eat them like popcorn. A few of them were walking about, but the great unwashed penguin masses seemed to be huddled near one another on the beach, face down, snoozing.

We eventually made it to the Cape of Good Hope, which was the highlight of our tour. Contrary to popular belief, this is NOT the southernmost part of the African continent. The southernmost point is actually 90 miles to the east-southeast. Nonetheless, this is the point of land on which Bartholomeu Dias landed in 1488. He gave it the name “Cabo de Tormentas” which means “Cape of Storms.” I can certainly see why he named it this; the day we were there, the winds were blowing like mad. It would have been very, very rough in a boat off-shore…and we were there on a “good” day! The King of Portugal, John II, wanted to colonize this part of the word and his marketing people thought that “Cape of Good Hope” might be a better name to attract would-be settlers. It’s been known as such ever since.

The next day, we visited a shopping center called the “Century Mall.” I went there primarily to find some books to read…the supply of books I took on this trip have mostly been read. Time to re-stock.

The Devil and Pirate Van Hunks in Cape Town, S. Africa

Well, the blog is a week behind. I’ve been very busy entertaining our distributors, going to formal business dinners, delivering presentations, and doing my regular day-job as well. My days have been starting around 7:00 a.m. and ending around midnight. Sure, we managed to have some fun (as the video will attest), but we also worked really hard. Work hard, play hard…that’s our way!

My first impression of Cape Town is that it’s windy. We may have the “Windy City” of Chicago, but it can’t hold a match to the winds here. This became evident when we decided to charter a catamaran out of the harbor for a few hours’ sail. On board was my friend and coworker Sue Dommeyer, her husband Jay, Todd Radtke, the captain, first mate, and me. As we were leaving the harbor for the open ocean, we clocked 60 knots of wind on the wind indicator.

60 knots converts to 69 miles per hour. Hurricane winds begin at 74 miles an hour…so we were experiencing what hard-core sailors would call a “stiff breeze.” For a moment, our captain had a look of sheer and utter terror on his face as we all grabbed on to handrails to hold on for dear life as our catamaran bobbed about like a cork. I had always heard the “cats” were supposed to be very stable in rough weather, but I quickly learned otherwise.

Once we entered the open ocean, the wind and seas died down. The captain relaxed and even told us that we’d set a new speed record…22 knots! It was smooth sailing from here on out. We encountered whales (we never actually saw them, but we could see their tale-tell signs of breathing through their blow-holes), big cargo ships, and a shark. All in all, it was a very pleasant day to be on the water.

One of the most striking features of Cape Town, whether viewed from the land or the water, is Table Mountain. The mountain gets its name from its very flat top and steep sides. It rises approximately 3,500 feet above sea level.

One of the coolest aspects of the mountain is the clouds that form on the top. On an otherwise perfectly cloudless day, the Table Mountain will often be covered by a “table cloth” of white clouds that form and dissipate as if by magic. Oh, sure, there’s probably some fancy scientific explanation for the phenomenon, but the local legend is much more fun. Apparently, the clouds are actually the visible results of a smoking contest between the Devil and a local pirate named Van Hunks. How cool is that?

Over the next couple of days, I will try to get more South Africa video edited for the blog. In the meantime, enjoy a virtual sail around the Cape Town Harbor…

Country House and City House

This past weekend, my hosts got me out of the city and into the Argentine country…land of the Gauchos (Argentine cowboys). Tony and Betina picked me up at the hotel, and we drove for about an hour into the country. I was amazed at how flat the landscape is…it’s as flat as a table-top…just like Florida!

Edi’s country home is on a huge track of land that used to be a cattle ranch. The property has been subdivided into a few dozen properties that are used by people from Buenos Aires to get away from the city and enjoy the country air. Each lot has a minimum amount of land (it appears to be a couple of acres, at least). This ensures some distance and privacy between the neighbors. What’s especially cool is that Edi’s house was designed by his daughter, who is an architect. How cool is THAT?!?

The house is long and narrow. The first floor is the living area with a living room and plenty of seating for family and guests. I especially like the wood-burning stand-alone fireplace that serves as a central focus point of the room. There’s a modern kitchen with sink and oven. Behind that, though, is the “heart” of the house. The dining room! It takes up about a football field’s worth of space. It can easily sit a dozen people.

The grill is prominently featured at the end of the dining area. The grill is of a unique Argentine design that I have never seen before. To one side, there is a narrow slit, perhaps 8” wide, between the bricks that form the structure of the grill. Here, the chef burns wood for several hours and turns it into hot coals. The coals are then taken by shovel to the grilling area which consists of metal grates that are angled so that the juices flow downward and collect into a special tray. This helps to minimize the amount of fat that falls into the flames and causes flare-ups. With this grill, the idea is to supply a LOT of heat, but no flames.

The meal itself, of course, was exceptional. Edi explained several times all of the types of meat that were served (there were at least seven varieties). But, I don’t remember their individual names. Suffice to say that there was meat from the throat of the cow, the ribs, the diaphragm, and intestines. We also enjoyed pork.
After lunch, we walked for about 20 minutes to the old ranch house from the original property. It was built in 1844, and is in surprisingly good shape. In fact, club members can arrange to have guests sleep in the original manor. My favorite features of this house were the inlaid-wood floors and the uber-cool retro-bathroom.

On Monday evening, Tony picked me up from the hotel and took me to his home in the city. He and Betina have lived here for four years. They used to have a larger place, but downsized after their three boys grew up and left home.
Betina is an incredible cook! We enjoyed a spinach roll, almond-crusted salmon, cheese potatoes, and desert. As always on this trip, I ate too much…but I enjoyed every bite!

Well, this is my last entry from Argentina. Tomorrow morning, I fly to Cape Town, South Africa, where all new exciting adventures will take place. Oh, and work, too…I suppose. Yeah, probably mostly work. ;-)

Don't Cry For Me Argentina...

This past weekend was awesome! My hosts (Tony Novoa and Edi Alvarez) made sure to schedule a bit of “fun time” that included things other than eating. Yes, we all enjoy eating…and I’m afraid that by watching these videos, my audience will think that’s all we do. Fact is, we DO eat a lot because everybody wants the foreigner (i.e., me) to try a bit of everything. But we also have fun in other ways…like visiting the local tourist traps and what-not.

Oh, and there’s a popular misconception that I’d like to nip in the bud. As I’ve said on previous blog posts, I do actually WORK on these trips. Unfortunately, the nature of the work would appear a bit boring if captured on video. I mean, do you really want to watch hours and hours of business meetings…or had you rather see some of the local tourist stuff?

Yeah, I thought so. But people forget that this is a business trip. Trust me; for every hour of “fun” that I get to experience, I spend 8.7 hours in boring meetings (I’ve timed it).

Now, on to the video. Tony picked me up on Saturday morning and drove me around town. He was careful to point out some of the changes that have happened over the past 50 years. This is because my good friend, Daniel Montoya, grew up in Buenos Aires, but he left his home country in 1959. He’s never been back. He became quite excited when I told him that I would be visiting his home town, and I promised to film a few of the sites just for him. So, Daniel…some of this footage is just for you!

Tony and Betina asked if I might be interested in eating Chinese food…which happens to be one of my favorite cuisines! I learned many years ago that there are three ways to judge the quality of any nation. First, try their beer (if they don’t have beer…run like hell!). Second, try a pizza. We all have eaten pizza’s in our own countries and know that there’s a basic list of ingredients…a flat crust for the base, some tomato sauce, a bit of cheese…and then…who knows? That’s the great part! They serve pizza everywhere in the world, but each culture puts its own spin on how it’s prepared! You can tell a lot about a society by how they treat their prisoners…and how they make their pizza. Finally, order a Chinese meal. The Chinese are masters of taking their basic cuisine and modifying it to excite the local taste buds.

The highlight of my day was a visit to one of the most famous cemeteries in the world; La Recoleta. This is the cemetery where Eva Peron is buried. It is the cemetery of presidents, Nobel-laureates, war heroes, and titans of industry are laid to rest. It is, by far, the most awesome cemetery I have ever visited.

Much to my surprise, neither Tony nor Betina had actually visited this tourist-attraction! They simply had never had any reason to go there. I suppose this is somewhat like the New Yorker who had never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.

After visiting the cemetery, we went across the street to a café to enjoy a cup of coffee. As we were sitting there, Tony kept saying that the woman sitting across from us looked just like his teacher from the third grade…when he was an eight year-old boy, and his teacher was probably in her mid-twenties. Betina and I must have told him three or four times that he MUST go and introduce himself…to find out if it was her…his third-grade teacher from forty-four years ago.

Was it her? Well, you’ll just have to watch the video to find out…

Buenos Aires - Spanish for "We Eat Meat"

Well, my latest trip has finally begun! It was off to a bit of a rocky start when I arrived at the Jacksonville “International” Airport to discover that my flight to Miami was delayed by 40 minutes. This is not a good thing, considering that I would now have only 20 minutes to catch my connecting flight to Buenos Aires.

When I landed in Miami, it was pouring down rain. Normally, this wouldn’t be a concern. After all, in modern airports, planes pull right up to the boarding gates and passengers never have to experience the weather. The problem is that American Airlines flies “puddle jumpers” between Jacksonville and Miami. These are small regional planes that are the red-headed stepchildren of the airline industry. In Miami, they’re not allowed to connect to a jetway. Instead, they park on the tarmac and a bus comes by to pick up the passengers to take them to the terminal. So, while walking from the plane to the bus, I got soaking wet. This meant that I’d be wearing wet clothes for the next ten hours or so.

A word of caution about American Airways…DO NOT FLY THEM…especially if you’re over 5 feet tall! As it happens, I am 6’4” tall and I have very long legs. I was flying coach, and there was simply no room for my legs. I had to spread my knees the best I could because the seat in front of me was so close! To make matters worse, the guy in front of me reclined his seat as soon as the wheels left the ground. The back of his seat was so close to me that I couldn’t even hold a book in a comfortable reading position.

To cram ever more people aboard their planes, airlines are quickly reducing the amount of “pitch,” which is the distance between the front of one seat and the back of the next. This reduces the amount of leg room, which is very important to tall people like me. American Airways is one of the stingiest airlines when it comes to “pitch” in passenger seats. If you don’t want to feel like the guy in front of you is sitting in your lap…avoid American Airways at all costs!

After a sleepless night, I arrived in Buenos Aires at 6:20 a.m. local time. Much to my surprise, the officials there demanded $131 U.S.!!! They had signs posted everywhere explaining that this was NOT a visa charge (which I believe would violate a treaty between Argentina and the U.S.). Instead, the money was a “reciprocity” charge. Basically, the U.S. decided a while back to charge Argentine citizens $131 to enter the U.S. Argentina decided to pay back the favor by charging U.S. citizens to enter their country. Actually, I can’t say that I blame them. Plus, this is a business trip…so it’s not my money!

When I picked up my bags at Customs, I was shocked at how soaking wet they were. Apparently, American Airlines baggage handlers let my bags sit on the runway during the pouring rain in Miami. Now, all of my clothes were nice and damp; not soaking wet, but definitely not dry.

Once I cleared Customs, I was met by a driver holding a sign that read, “Roberto Doty.” I thought that was a nice Spanish touch. He helped carry my bags to a waiting car, and we were off to my hotel.

The first thing that caught my attention on the way from the airport was the military “pill boxes” that were placed on the main road every few hundred feet. In years past, these concrete bunkers would be manned by armed soldiers who could aim their weapons through narrow slits. They’re not in use today…at least, that’s what I’m told.

An hour later, we arrived at the Abasto Plaza hotel, which will be my home for the next week. I think I’m going to like it. It’s directly across the street from the Abasto Market, which was built in 1893 and originally served as a central farmers’ market. Today, it’s a modern shopping center. When I got to my room, the first thing I did was give the bed a thorough test-drive. I slept for nearly six hours straight.

In the evening, I was picked up by Tony Novoa and his beautiful wife, Betina. We enjoyed a wonderful dinner at a traditional steak house. They served every type of beef and pork imaginable; sausages, steaks, chops, and even a house special “minced beef milkshake with crumbled bacon bits”.

OK, kidding about the milkshake. But let it be known that if there’s a national dish in Argentina, it’s going to have a large helping of beef. It’s also going to be served late in the evening, by American standards. In fact, dinner didn’t even begin until 9:30…and I was dropped off at my hotel at 12:30 a.m.

On Thursday morning, work began in earnest. Tony picked me up, and we headed to his office. The building was constructed in 1969…the same year I was born. It has the coolest elevator. To get in, one has to open a folding metal door and then a collapsing metal gate sort of thing. Then the outer door is closed, followed by the metal gate. As the elevator moves from floor to floor, the only thing that separates the riders from the elevator shaft is this metal gate. It would be quite easy for a careless person to lose a finger or two between floors.

That evening, Edi Alvarez and his beautiful wife Haydee picked me up to take me to yet another incredible restaurant. There, we met his daughter Carla and her fiancé Sebastian. Tony and Betina joined us a bit later. When I heard my hosts speaking Spanish, I could pick up the term “paella” being tossed about. I like paella. In fact, it’s one of my favorite dishes. Yet, on the English menu I was provided, there was no mention of the dish. There was “Seafood and Rice,” but that’s hardly the same thing. Finally, I had to say something. I asked Haydee if this restaurant serves “paella,” and she was a bit surprised that I knew what it was. So, we all ordered paella…and it was awesome!

I was dropped off at my hotel well after midnight, and enjoyed a deep and peaceful sleep with visions of Tango dancers, slabs of beef, and bottles of Mendoza whirling above my head.